Is what my mom is doing illegal ?

no its not illegal unless she is going into your bank account. Why don't you open an account and have your statements posted to your email account. That way she has no access to it...and as far as a car goes start saving and don't tell her when your getting one...then have enough money saved to move out when the shoe drops. have you tried having a sit down talk with her? Your twenty six for crying out loud! Lol....good luck hun.